Portalmon
by FeeptheNinja
Summary: Chell is somehow transported into the Pokemon world. But so were the AIs;  GLaDOS, Wheatley, etc. ... And while Chell's human, they're Pokemon! Loosely follows story of Pokemon Emerald. THE FOURTH WALL WILL BE BROKEN. :D  ON TEMPORARY HIATUS
1. The Craziness Starts

"Hello!"

Chell froze at this sound. Last time she checked, there wasn't anything talking around her house. And why couldn't she see anything?

"Welcome to the world of Pokémon! I'm Professor Birch…"

'Yadda, yadda, yadda…' thought Chell, not really paying any attention to the seemingly crazy man whom she could not see. Instead, she tried to figure out what he had just said. 'Pokémon? What the _heck_ is Pokémon?' she thought irritably, getting more and more ticked off by the second. Who was this guy, and what kind of stunt was he trying to pull, getting into her house and not letting her sight work…

"Are you a boy, or a girl?"

'Excuse me?' Chell thought. So, this guy apparently couldn't see her either. Stranger still was the fact that there were now two buttons _in the floor_- 'BOY' and 'GIRL'. Those were NOT there before. And why were those the only things she could see? She hesitantly moved her hand over to 'GIRL' and pressed it down, a loud DING following.

"Okay! Now what's your name?"

'…' Great. She couldn't speak, and he couldn't see her for sign language. Now how was this-

A keyboard popped out of the floor. THE FLOOR. AND RAISED UP ON A PODIUM. EXACTLY HER HEIGHT. If this wasn't creepy beyond creepy, she had no idea what planet she was on or what they… ate. 'Oh, great, now I'm trapped somewhere… I dunno where, and hungry. Great day so far. Thank you, Fate!' she growled in her head, and typed in her name.

"Great! Let's get you into the world of Pokémon!"

INTO THE WHAT NOW?

Suddenly Chell had the horrible sensation of her body shrinking and pixelizing-

'Fourth Wall cracks'

Uhh, I mean just shrinking, and being shoved in a small space, before blacking out.

Her last thought: 'What the hell has happened to my life?'

**A/N: Yes, short, but the only Portal/Pokémon STORY on the site. And it will get better, and have longer chapters! So please, bear with me- I need some practice with intros. It will be funny, and… cool. Maybe not epic- I don't want to sound all full of myself, or anything. And the fourth wall breakage will continue. 'Fourth Wall shudders' Muahahahaha!**

**GLaDOS: I am happy to note that my role in this story is satisfactory. You live. Congratulations. *party horn sounds, confetti dumps on my head* That was the good confetti.**

**Me: Well, I'm glad- or should I say, GLaD- you like your part, GLaDOS. And you know you wouldn't kill me.**

**GLaDOS: …Shut up.**

**Me: Ha. Anyway, I don't care about your puny flame attempts! :D I can withstand temperatures up to 4000 degrees Kelvin and still be fully operational! BRING IT ON!**

**GLaDOS: You scare me.**


	2. A Phobia of the Color Black

Chell groaned as she sat up in the small space. It appeared to be moving, and it… was… pitch-black in here. Really? REALLY? First a pitch-black room IN HER OWN HOUSE [or at least, she _thought_ it was in her house…], and now another one in god-knows-where? Fate must be laughing at her from the skies.

'I may soon develop a phobia of the color black…' she thought to herself. Then the thing she was in stopped moving. She leapt to her feet, wary of what might happen next. The door opened, and-

"Hello, dear! How was your trip?" The woman who had opened the large door to the moving van smiled sweetly.

'What… the… HELL?' thought Chell. 'I don't know you! Where the &%# _am_ I?' It was at this moment Chell wished this woman knew ASL, because even though her hands were creating words to dirty to repeat in this fan-

'A brick falls out of the Fourth Wall'

Eh heh heh, I mean, just too dirty to repeat, it also meant she had no form of communication with the woman.

'Great, just great…' Chell muttered in her head. 'Now I can't talk to anyone. My day is turning out WONDERFULLY.'

"Honey? What's up? Aren't you excited to be at our new house? That you'll be able to see Dad again?" the woman was clearly puzzled at Chell's behavior. "Chell? C'mon, let's go inside!" She grabbed Chell's hand and began fairly dragging Chell inside the house.

'WHAT? Lady, you're not my mom and he's not my dad, because you two are _dead_, how the hell did you know my name, and WHERE ARE WE?' Chell wanted to scream, but she was mute, and therefore could do nary a thing as she was pulled inside the house and told to go set the clock in her room. By a psycho woman who thought Chell was her daughter. Oh lord.

'Well, last time I checked, it was… 2:15. So there, that's done. Now, what else is in this room?' Chell looked around. There was a computer, a journal, a bed, and a T.V. Chell sat down at the computer.

'Lessee here… Chell's PC? How does _everyone _here know my name? Well… Withdraw item? 1 Potion? Potion of what? Oh well, YES.' *ITEM WITHDRAWN. HAVE A NICE DAY. * The computer droned. Chell felt around in her bag, and suddenly-

'Where did this come from?' Chell held up a small spray bottle of sorts. It had purple decal on it. As soon as she touched it, _something_- Chell didn't know what- said *THIS IS A POTION, A SPRAY-TYPE MEDICINE FOR POKÉMON. IT RESTORES 20 HP.* Well, there was that mysterious 'Pokémon' thing again. What was it? As Chell pondered this, her 'mom' called from downstairs.

"HONEY? GET DOWN HERE, YOUR FATHER'S ON T.V.!" Chell sped down the stairs and screeched to a halt in front of the woman. *We brought you this utterly useless report from Petalburg City. Next: Poliwag get wet! Three straight hours of Water Pokémon in the water…*

"Oh. You missed it. Well, then why don't you go see Prof. Birch's kid?" Chell was shoved out the door in an instant, and it locked behind her with a cheery, "I hear he's cute!"

'What? I don't even know where he lives! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE-' Then she noticed the house directly across from them. 'Oh.' Chell set off in the direction of the other house, still wondering exactly WHAT she had gotten into.

**A/N: *sigh* Sorry, it's STILL a bit short. I just… urg. BUT THERE WILL BE POKÉMON IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! Guess who her first Pokémon will be? [Out of the Hoenn starters] I'll give you a hint: Button. Heh, that's all I'm going to say. One word. Button.**

**I am going to update frequently, VERY frequently [i.e. once or maybe even twice a day], because I'm on vacation in Florida to see my dad and grandparents and uncle and aunt and cousins, and when we're not doing anything, I can have all the video game time I want! So expect updates. And lots of em! And THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reviewing! I was so excited that I got reviews on my stories, I was jumping around and my dad was like "What happened?" So… yeah! Yay! ^-^**

**GLaDOS: And she broke my aural receptors. Again.**

**Me: So see ya guys soon!**


	3. Wheatley the Mudkip

Chell was in a bad mood as she walked up to their neighbor's house and knocked on the door. 'I bet no one will answer me, too. I hate this godforsaken town…' Just then, a lady opened the door hurriedly, a big smile on her face. Literally, she looked like this: .

"Hi! Oh, you must be the new kid! My little Brendan was so excited to have a new friend move in! Why don't you go meet him!" She then shoved Chell unceremoniously up the stairs and into this so called 'Brendan' s room. And locked the door. To be honest, Chell half-thought the woman would bind her to a chair and stick a gag on her.

'What the hell is UP with this place?' Chell growled and then noticed a small ball about the size of an orange on the floor. Half of it was red, and the other half was white, and there appeared to be a button on it. Wait, was the button red? No? Sweet, then it was okay to press! Her hand drifted over, and two seconds before she could press it-

"HEY! Who are you and WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM? THAT'S MY - oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell… Who are you?" He asked as he retrieved his ball. Well, Chell thought, it was a long shot, but here goes…

_I'm Chell. I'm… very new here. Are you Brendan, by any chance? _She signed, hoping fervently that he knew how to read ASL. Unlike her supposed 'mother'.

Brendan studied her face a moment, then spoke. "Yes, I am Brendan. So… you don't talk?" Chell shook her head. "Huh. When I heard about you being a gym leader's kid and all that, I was positive you'd be a guy… Oh well! So, you just turned 10?" Chell looked confused for a second, and then it dawned on her. This kid was the same height as her. And there were no mirrors in sight.

'Well, CRUD! It's bad enough I get shoved into this freaky place, now I'm 10 YEARS OLD! COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?' Chell screamed in her head. She signed to Brendan, _Yes, I just turned 10… What's that in your hand?_ She signed, wanting to change the topic before Brendan noticed her hesitance to sign her age.

"Oh, this? It's a Pokéball. It catches Pokémon. Do you have a Pokémon yet?" He asked. Chell shook her head. "Aw, do you want me to catch one for you? Oh, wait!" He glanced down at his watch. "I'm supposed to help Dad with some fieldwork. See ya later!" He ran out of the room, stopping only to pick up something else on his desk. Chell sighed.

'I'm going to have to follow him, aren't I?' She trudged down the stairs, out the door, and towards the tall grass outside the town. There was some short kid with glasses over there. 'Wonder what got him so worked up?' mused Chell as she wandered over to him.

"Oh no! Professor Birch was attacked by a wild Pokémon! What should I do…" Chell, after hearing this , decided that a Pokémon was a type of animal. At least, she hoped so, and that the Prof. wasn't being attacked by like, a giant carrot with an attitude problem. She took off towards the sound of screaming and eventually came to the Professor, being attacked by…

A little raccoon?

'Aww!' Thought Chell. 'That's so cute! Why is he so sca-' She fell silent as she watched it try to get a chunk out of his leg. 'Not so cute anymore…' thought Chell as she tried to keep from getting sick.

"Oh! There you are! Please help me! There's a Pokéball in that bag!" he screamed, before resuming trying to not be eaten by the killer baby raccoon. In the bag? Oh, that one over there. She looked in it, seeing 3 Pokéballs inside. She could see the ones inside. The first one was some kind of chicken with a flame-like crest on its head. *TORCHIC*, the ball read. Hm. The next one looked like an upright green gecko. Its ball said *TREECKO*. The last one was a sort of mud fish looking thing, with orange gills on its face and a big fin on its head. Its ball read *MUDKIP* 'Hmm… which one should I choo-' The Mudkip's face had lit up upon seeing her… and now it was WAVING! WHAT? She thought without a second doubt that this one was more intelligent than the rest, and plucked its Pokéball out of the bag. She pushed the button on it, and the little Pokémon jumped out.

**['Ello!]**

Chell was shocked. Did that thing… talk? And in a British accent?

**[Oh my god, you're here too! That's bloody awesome! Well, not the being stuck here part, but… Oh, you know what I mean! It's just great to see you again!]**

Oh, no. It couldn't be. It just… HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN SPACE! AND NOT A MUDKIP-THING!

The professor gave a shrill shriek, reminding Chell that she had work to do. She set Wheatley down on the ground and pointed at the raccoon that was at this very moment attempting to remove the fact Birch was a guy.

**[You want me to… battle?****] **A worried expression crossed Wheatley's face, effectively rendering him the most adorable thing on Earth. **[But I'm not very good at it…] **Chell decided to change tactics, adopting a pleading expression. **[Aww… Okay! I'll try! For you, Chell!] **Wheatley declared, and charged into the fray, hitting the raccoon square in the side. For about 2 minutes, they went at it, leaving Chell wondering how they weren't suffering brain damage. After 30 more seconds, Wheatley rammed the raccoon into a tree. As it lay on the ground, twitching slightly, Wheatley ran up to Chell.

**[How did I do? Did I do good?] **Wheatley asked, and Chell picked him up and squeezed him. It was the closest she could get to 'Heck yes, Wheatley! You PWNED that raccoon thingy!' Without being able to talk. However, he seemed to get the message. **[Aww…] ** he said, blushing. Chell headed towards the professor, Wheatley tight in her arms, as she thought, 'Well THIS just got a whole lot more interesting!'

**A/N: For those of you who guessed Wheatley, you were right! Wheatley the Mudkip… dawww. But as for the next character… why do you think this is filed in Pokémon under "Mew"?**


	4. MeWDOS the Mew

**A/N: Okay, I lied. It's not a glitch, its Gameshark, and… Uhg. Just bear with me here, please. I'll have another Author's Note at the end, but I just wanted to let you know. And did you know with Metronome, Tackle is just as likely to happen as Hyper Beam? :D Then again, so is everything else… but still! Oh, also, I just got the ROM for Emerald on my VBA, so there MIGHT be a video of this happening on Poyoarya's *my friend's* Youtube channel. About the same chance of finding a shiny legitimately, though.**

"Oh, thank you for saving me! So, you're Chell?" The professor looked relieved that he was still male as he spoke to Chell. Chell nodded. "Well, that was a good battle! Stop by my lab later, okay?" Then he kinda just… disappeared. Into thin air.

'OMG witchcraft!' Chell thought at first, and then came to the conclusion that that was supposed to happen for some strange, as-of-yet unexplained reason. She ran off to the lab, running because she was half-afraid that a raccoon thingy would come and try to dismember her, and half-afraid something else would. Amazing what not having an ASHPoD can do to your confidence around killer baby raccoons.

By the time she got to the lab, the Prof. had pretty much finished his opening spiel for Brendan. Brendan turned around to the sight of an out-of-breath, sweaty Chell walking in the door. "Well hi! Here are 5 Pokéballs a Pokédex and you can keep that Mudkip! What's its name?" Birch had said that all in one breath, and after seeing Chell's confusion, Brendan whispered:

"He already told me everything, so he's… abbreviating." Oh. Chell picked up a random pen and piece of paper, and when I say 'picked up', I mean 'kicked some scientist guy in the doughnut holes and while he was writhing on the floor, stole what he was carrying'. She wrote *Wheatley* on the paper and shoved it in the Professor's face. She then stuffed the Pokéballs into her bag along with the strange device he had given her. A Pokédex, was it called? Hm. As she was getting ready to go, Birch stopped her and said- well, he told her how to use the 'Dex. I'm just too lazy to write that part out.

*Fourth Wall screams in pain as it is torched with a flamethrower*

Chell dashed out of the lab, desperate to leave this place and get back home. However, her 'mom' stopped her with a cheerful grin on her face. 'Oh god, here we go again…' she thought, and to her surprise, Wheatley immediately responded.

**[What? Is she annoying you or something?] ** Wheatley asked, looking up at her confusedly. Chell decided to figure out later why the heck he could read her thoughts [and why no one else seemed to hear him speak], and to right now, while the crazy woman was prattling on about how she looked good with Pokémon, get Wheatley up to speed on what was happening.

'Well, Wheatley, it started when there was some crazy dude in my house telling me about Pokémon and asking me stuff. Then I got turned into a 10-year-old and wound up here, where there is a crazy woman that thinks she is my mother-'

**[Isn't she dead? Your mom, I mean?]**

'Yes, Wheatley, that's why she's crazy. And there is a "Pokémon Professor" named Birch, he's nuts too, and his kid Brendan, who seems to be the only sane person here. So, what's up with you?'

**[Well, it was basically that everyone shut off, and then BAM! We were here. All of us, even Space, who was still in space, last time I checked…]**

'Um, how'd you get back? And did you see where everyone went?'

**[Um, actually, She brought me back. Can't imagine why, though. And I saw Her and Space run off somewhere around here. Me, I got stuck in that horrible little ball-thing and tossed in a lab for weeks! Then you show up and… well. Here we are.]**

'Hm. Well, looks like we know where to look first, then!' By that time her 'mom' had finished her blabbing and ran back inside, yelling "I'll get your Running Shoes!" 'But I can run perfectly well in these shoes!' thought-argued Chell, and then deciding that the woman was a lost cause, proceeded to walk around the tiny neighborhood. She found some bloated kid with a blue shirt looking aimlessly off into space. Chell tapped on his shoulder, trying to take up a conversation. The kid then immediately yelled,

"Did you know you can transport Pokémon anywhere now with computers? The power of science is staggering!"

And fell silent. Chell looked at Wheatley with a look that said, 'Really?' and they tried again.

"Did you know you can transport Pokémon anywhere now with computers? The power of science is staggering!"

Chell giggled a bit and looked at Wheatley again. She swore to God he was giving her a thumbs-up. So this time instead of tapping, she PUNCHED the kid.

"Did you know you can transport Pokémon anywhere now with computers? The power of science is staggering!"

They did this two more times before going on their way, and did that to someone else, too, who spouted crud about Birch being away from home a lot. Then they heard something behind a tree…

"Mew! Mew Mew!"

Chell looked at Wheatley. What was that?

**[For the love of science! I'm over here, Moron!]**

Oh. OH! Chell dashed over to the tree, and behind it was…

*Mew. The New Species Pokémon. This Pokémon…* Chell shut up the 'Dex with a whack on the casing. It was a Mew, but…

It was completely white, except for its tail and left leg, which were jet black. Only its left eye was visible, and it was a gleaming gold. Its other eye was obscured by a red eyepiece that was seemingly grafted to its face. Around its left ear was a tiny red tattoo, and if you got very close, you could just make out what it said: 'GLaDOS'.

'Yep.' Thought Chell. 'It's GLaDOS alright.'

**[Of course it's me! Or do you really have brain damage?]**, GLaDOS- no, MeWDOS- growled irately.

Chell sighed. 'Do you know how this happened?'

**[No. How should I know, I excel in science, not in mysterious anthropomorphic transformations.]**

**[Uh, English please?] ** Wheatley timidly asked.

MeWDOS gave a frustrated huff. **[I said I know no more about the situation than you do. *coughMoroncough*]**

**[Hey!] **

'Guys!' Chell interjected. 'Save it, okay? We still gotta get on the road, both literally by getting out of this nuthouse of a town, and by figuratively figuring out what the heck happened to us all. So after we start this journey and get some small grasp of what's going on, THEN you two can fight over moronic-ness and whatnot. Got it?' The two AI-turned-Pokémon fell silent immediately. 'Good. Now, MeWDOS-'

**[My name is-]**

'Your name is MeWDOS for now, alright? Then I won't have to explain why you're called "Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System" to everyone we meet. Anyway, you need to get in the Pokéball. Now.'

**[No way! I am NOT going in that thing!]**

'Well, you have to, at least for a little while. If people see you around here, the Prof. will want to do tests on you and stuff, and that won't do. Plus, if I don't "catch you" with this thing, than any old idiot can come along, hurl a ball at you, and you're his. So get in.'

**[… Fine. But I won't like it.]**

'Who cares if you like it? In. Now.' And with that, Chell hit the button on the Pokéball, and MeWDOS was sucked inside.

"Oh HONEY! I found the Running Shoes!" Chell's 'mom' called, and Chell trudged back towards the house, still yelling in her head, 'You know, I can run perfectly fine in THESE SHOES TOO!'

**A/N: Well, another chapter's up, and MeWDOS is… irate, to say the least, about this whole situation. Heh, quick info: She's Level 20, so knows moves Lv. 20 Mew do. And she has the WORST luck on the face of the planet with Metronome. **

**Wait a minute, I didn't torture the Fourth Wall last chapter! Dang! Well… Here, AnimeGirl1220, for correctly guessing GLaDOS's identity last review and being a faithful follower of my stories, you can attack it for me. If you want to, that is. Thanks! ^-^**


	5. SSSPPPAAACCCEEE!

Chell, Wheatley, and MeWDOS were well and rightfully on their way to Rustboro City, having just got through Oldale Town. Chell was very vividly retelling the tale of how Birch almost got his walnuts removed by the Zigzagoon (Chell, after messing around with her Pokédex, figured out this was what it was called). In spite of Herself, MeWDOS was laughing quite a bit by the time she got to the part about how she got the paper and pen to tell the Prof. Wheatley's name ['Seriously! He screamed like a little girl!']

**[Oh… God… that was bloody awesome!]** Wheatley barely managed to choke out in-between fits of laughter. MeWDOS was laughing so hard She was doubled over in midair.

**[I… concur… ha! Did… did you really…?] **MeWDOS was, by this time, gasping for breath. Chell grinned. She couldn't remember getting GLaDOS to laugh this hard EVER. Well, maybe when the testing bots died in The Hub. That was so sad, it was funny. Huh, sounded a lot like "That would be funny, if it weren't so sad" from a certain someone's goodbye song.

'Yep, I really did kick that guy in the doughnut holes. If you ask me, he's probably still crying on the ground! Oh, right, and there was this random kid, and NO MATTER WHAT YOU DID TO HIM, he still said the same thing! Like, me and Wheatley-'

**[Wheatley and I.] **MeWDOS corrected, but you could tell She didn't really care. It probably had something to do with the somewhat evil smirk on her face.

'_Wheatley and_ _I_, went up to him and PUNCHED him, and the kid just spouted the same stuff! Seriously!'

**[What did he say?]**

Chell reached up through the chapters-

*Fourth Wall screams in agony*

And pulled the sentence the kid had said back here to this chapter.

*Fourth Wall starts cutting itself*

Dang, now we got a suicidal Fourth Wall. Oh well.

"Did you know you can transport Pokémon anywhere now with computers? The power of science is staggering!"

'Does he know you?' Chell asked, giving a sideways glance at MeWDOS. MeWDOS shook Her head.

**[Nope. But he makes a lot of sense!] **She announced. Chell rolled her eyes.

'Of course you'd say that, MeWDOS, he's talking about science.' Chell grinned inwardly. It seemed that mixing GLaDOS and a Mew resulted in giving Her a much lighter attitude than she would in metal-and-wires form. Or at least so far.

"HEY KID!" Some random burly guy shouted. "LET'S HAVE A POKÉMON BATTLE! HUH?"

'Ah, the world of Pokémon, the one world where random burly people can fight little girls without a moment's notice. This place is too MESSED UP. God, I wanna go home…' Chell groaned and pointed Wheatley out at the guy.

*RANDOM BURLY HIKER GUY WANTS TO BATTLE! RANDOM BURLY HIKER GUY SENT OUT YET ANOTHER DANGED GEODUDE!*

'Where is that annoying voice coming from and why is it announcing everything we do?' wondered Chell briefly. And then the random disembodied voice screamed out again.

*PLAYER SENT OUT WHEATLEY! WHEATLEY USED WATER GUN! THE GEODUDE WAS PWNED! PLAYER GOT 925$!*

'Well, that was easy.' Chell blinked. The fainted Geodude somehow pulled out an Easy Button from Staples and tossed it at MeWDOS, hitting Her square in the face and screaming 'THAT WAS EASY!' MeWDOS then got royally P. and fried the Geodude into a fine dust.

'Wow, that was random. And why does that voice always call me *Player*?' Said Chell, who started to walk off.

**[Of course it was random. The author got bored.] **MeWDOS said nonchalantly, then pulled a Bazooki [Bazooka/Uzi combination gun] out of nowhere and gunned down the charred remains of the Fourth Wall.

**[Um, back to the story, please?] **asked Wheatley.

Chell and MeWDOS looked at each other, then back at him. 'Fine, might as well. We got nothing better to do.' Sighed Chell. MeWDOS shrugged. 'Now, can either of you remember if anyone else ran off to around here?' Chell asked. MeWDOS shrugged again.

**[Don't look at me. I can't remember seeing a soul since I got here, not even that moro-]**

'Don't even say it, MeWDOS. Don't _even_ say it. Wheatley?'

**[I could have sworn I saw-]**

PIIKKAAAA! **[SSSPPPAAACCCEEEE!]**

**[Run off around here. Wait, was that..?]**

**[!]**

'Yes, yes it was. C'mon, it came from around the forest!'

Once everyone had made it into the forest, It wasn't too hard to find what they were looking for. The Pikachu was running around in a clearing where it could see the night sky and had a silver star on the end of its tail. It was screaming,

**[SSSSSSSSPPPPPAAAAACCCCCEEEEEE!]**

**[I think we found him.] **MeWDOS noted dryly.

'Ya think?' Chell said sarcastically, grabbing one of her Pokéballs. She hurled it at the Pikachu, who was so caught up in his *SSSPPPAAACCCEEE!*ing, he didn't even notice he was caught.

'Well, Space, welcome to the team! If you care at all about-'

**[Hey, where'd space go? Wanna go to space. Gotta see sppaaccee! Oh. Hi space lady! Why am I not in space? Ooh, is that space-buddy? Hi space-buddy! Have you seen Curiosity? Still haven't told her all about sppaaccee! I think she went that way. SSPPAACCEE!] **And then Space went back to ranting about space-cops. Some things just don't change. But…

**[Hey, wot's that he said about Curiosity?] **Wheatley asked.

**[It sounds like he knows where she went. So let's go already!] **MeWDOS then started to float off in the general directionof where Space had indicated.

Chell laughed silently. 'Sounds like Space has got a _friend_!' Chell said, elbowing Wheatley slightly.

**[Well, yes, Space and Curiosity have been best friends, even as cores… So?] **Wheatley asked, puzzled.

Chell rolled her eyes. 'I meant _friend _friends.'

**[Yeah, you just said that. So?]**

'… You'll understand when you're older.'

**[Hey! I'm older than **_**you**_** are!]**

'You said it, not me!'

**[GUYS!] **MeWDOS's yell silenced them both. **[Chell, didn't you say save the fighting for later? So follow your own rule, and shut up.] **She then turned back to the path.

Chell and Wheatley looked at each other, then followed MeWDOS without so much as a word.

'Hey, wait, no one answered my question about the voice calling me *Player*!'

**[SHUT UP!]**

**A/N: Oh yeah, Fourth Wall murdering! ^^ Anyway, just so you know, Chell will get a few other Pokémon that weren't ever AI… but some may have reference to Aperture. And the first person to guess who Curiosity will be awarded ~cake~! And if no one guesses correctly, I'll go with the closest. **

**Hint: Orange, furry, firey.**

**Hey, I just noticed that MeWDOS hasn't battled yet! [Vaporizing that dang Geodude didn't count] Oh well, Roxanne will be in for a treat! *grins evilly***


	6. You Need A Permit For A GPS?

**A/N: Annnd the winners are… 1st to get it was Katzsoa, who received ~cake~! 2****nd**** prize was given to RedVsBlue327, who got to borrow my epic Missingno., .! And 3****rd**** went to Gamerteen13, who chose a portal gun for his prize. He made a momentum cannon, and I gave him some combustible lemons… In related news, 5 people had their houses burnt down. :D OMG, typo! Sorry, I meant to mean both MeWDOS's hind legs were jet black, along with her tail… Oops. And I am most sincerely sorry if I got anyone's gender wrong here… :P I just don't know, so. And I got a new titanium Fourth Wall from Wild-Card Yes Man! So, TO THE CHAPTER! XD**

Chell, Wheatley, MeWDOS, and Space made it out of the forest… about five hours later. 'MeWDOS, next Pokémart we see, I am getting a GPS!' Chell announced irately as they- well, no, since she was carrying Wheatley, Space was in his Pokéball, and MeWDOS was floating, so only SHE trudged tiredly out of the forest. 'And Space, we'll have to work on your training soon…'

**[SSSPPAACCEEEE!] ** Yelled Space obliviously. Chell sighed in defeat. She had tried to get Space to battle, but all he knew was Thundershock, Tail Whip, and… some move she couldn't get him to use. And it was clear that he could barely aim, and just didn't focus on the battle long enough to, well, battle.

**[For the love of God, shut UP!] **shouted MeWDOS, holding Her ears in a rather futile attempt to block out Space's insistent chatter. **[I'm going to go completely INSANE soon!] **

'MeWDOS, this place is insane. This continent is insane, this freaking PLANET is insane. Therefore, we're probably insane too. Then again, I had that notion before we got here, so… I guess insanity isn't too bad.' Mused Chell. MeWDOS, by this time, had pretty much curled into the fetal position-in midair-to shut out Space.

**[AAHHH! SHUT… THE… HELL… UP!] **She screamed, and then popped Space out of his Pokéball and hit him with a Metronome, which turned into… *Wheel of Fortune sound* OWWW!

*Fourth Wall, with sunglasses on, has shot me in the foot with a smoking pistol*

Crud, forgot about that… anyway, it turned into… Ice Beam? After freezing Space into a solid block of ice [and returning him to his Pokéball], Chell and Wheatley just kinda… stared.

'How'd THAT work? You were battling bugs left and right in there, and the best that move got was Poison Powder!' Chell was gaping. MeWDOS, however, looked ready to decapitate something.

**[WHAT? JUST WHEN I WANTED HIM JUST TO SHUT UP, **_**THEN**_** IT GIVES ME A GOOD MOVE?] **MeWDOS screamed. As She continued yelling, Chell punched a few buttons on the 'Dex. Wheatley had a questioning look on his face.

**[What are you doing? And how are you blocking out Her yelling?] **he asked, wincing slightly as She let out another expletive too dirty to repeat in this fa-

*Fourth Wall gives me a warning glance, twirling the gun in its non-existent hand*

*coughdangwallcough* I mean, too dirty to repeat. Chell, apparently having found what she was looking for, closed the 'Dex and faced Wheatley.

'I'm not shutting Her out. I'm just not caring.' She clarified, and then yelled to MeWDOS. 'HEY! QUIT WHINING! I JUST FIGURED OUT YOU CAN LEARN VIRTUALLY EVERY MOVE IN EXISTENCE!' MeWDOS stopped abruptly in a random rant about Black Mesa (and probably-no, screw probably, was about all its crappiness) and looked at Chell.

**[Really?] **She asked tentatively, but with a hint of excitement, like a kid asking for a toy that she would be very unlikely to get. Chell nodded.

'No lie. Here,' she said as she tossed the 'Dex to MeWDOS. 'see for yourself. And I know you can read, so don't turn on voice function.' Exactly 7.359 seconds later, MeWDOS was probably the happiest She'd been since they'd gotten to this place. 'Toldja.' Said Chell.

RUSTBORO CITY

'Hmm. Frying that Scott dude was probably _not_ the way to go.' Muttered Chell as they entered the Pokémon Center.

**[Who cares? It was fun!] **MeWDOS grinned as Chell got Her back in her Pokéball. Chell sighed.

'You think burning people's houses down with combustible lemons is fun. So why am I surprised that you like burning jerks like him to a sizzling crisp?' she said. Turning to the lady at the counter, she signed:

_Um, could you only heal damage to that one? We want him to stay frozen. _She indicated Space's Pokéball with a wave.

"No, sweetie. We can only do a full healing. Why, what's wrong with him?" the nurse inquired.

Chell hesitated a moment before signing: _He's annoying. And won't shut up._

The nurse shrugged. "Well, not much I can do about that. Do you want a room to stay the night? It's not safe out after dark."

Slightly confused at the change in topic [and just when she was about to ask if they had industrial duct tape], Chell nodded.

"Good. Here's your Pokémon back. Your room is A83. Have a nice day!" Chell made a note of that as they went to the Pokémart.

'A83. Don't forget that, guys… Oh, hey, the TMs are over here!' Chell called. MeWDOS was there almost immediately, having reached speeds of Mach 10 on her way over, and had narrowly missed punching a hole in some kid.

**[Really? Oh, hey! This one looks cool… and Space could probably use this one… and Wheatley could have this one.] **She finished. Chell stared at Her. **[What?] **She asked, annoyed.

'You… you didn't call Wheatley moron for once! Are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up?' Chell asked worriedly. MeWDOS growled.

**[You told us not to fight, idiot. I am FINE.] **And with that, She floated off to look at the held items.

'Oh. Right… heh, heh…' Chell went over to the counter to pay.

"Hello! How may I help you?" he said, already scanning the items. "Lessee… One TM Brick Break, one TM Ice Beam, and one TM Dragon Claw. Anything else?" Chell nodded, remembering something she'd said earlier.

_Do you guys have any GPS's? _she asked. The dude behind the counter looked at her blankly.

"What's a GPS?"

If Chell could have, she would have a cartoon sweatdrop on the side of her face. As it was, she was facepalming.

'You honestly don't know what a GPS is…?' she thought to herself weakly. To the man, she signed:

_A Global Positioning System?_ She prompted. The man looked blank for another second, then looked confused.

"A Global… Oh! You mean a PGS!" he said proudly. Chell decided not to ask what that stood for, and instead signed:

_Yeah… that's what I meant. Could I buy one? _ She asked. The man looked confused again.

"What for? You don't have a car." He said. Chell just stared.

'Dude, I'm pretty sure that maybe ten people in this WHOLE FREAKING REGION own a car! ONLY TEN! EVERYONE ELSE WALKS LIKE ME!' she screamed in her head. To the man she said:

_No, no I don't. Can I have one anyway? _The man shook his head.

"Nope. They cost too much, and you don't have a permit. G'bye!" As Chell collected Wheatley and MeWDOS from their respective aisles, they could hear her muttering to herself.

'Why would you need a permit to have a GPS? This place is too weird…' Suddenly she looked up. Actually, everyone looked up. They had heard a commotion up in the square.

"It's beaten everyone!"

"Someone catch it, please!"

They looked at each other. Chell spoke up first. 'Sounds like a call for us… whoopee.' She said without much excitement-actually, without any excitement. 'And I was thinking of going down to our room, having dinner, watching a movie…'

**[Why is everyone trying to attack me? Oh, who's that? What is THAT? Ooh, that person has numbers on his shirt!]**

They were silent. 'Oh.' Muttered Chell.

**[Well, at least we know where she is now!] **Wheatley said cheerfully. MeWDOS was… less happy.

**[Great… now there's gonna be TWO annoying idiots here. Excuse me while I go hang myself.] **Chell grabbed MeWDOS by the ear and pulled Her back to where they all were. **[Ow-OW! That's my ear, stop pulling-OW! THAT HURTS!]**

Space gasped. **[CURIOSITY! Curiosity, wanna tell you about SPACE! Where's Curiosity, Chell?] **He had learnt Chell's name in the forest. Chell laughed.

'We'll go get her right now! Right, guys?' she said, looking all around.

**[Right!] **chirped Wheatley.

**[Okay, okay, let's go get Curiosity so I can tell her about SPACE!] **cheered Space.

MeWDOS was silent. 'Right, MeWDOS…?' Chell asked. MeWDOS was still rubbing her ear tenderly where Chell had grabbed it. She looked up.

**[Fine.] **And went back to holding her pained ear.

'Alright, let's go!' yelled Chell, and when they got there, they saw…

A Growlithe.

**A/N: Hey guys! Next chapter won't be a **_**chapter**_** so much as a short **_**interlude**_**. How I do these is that somewhere, the characters introduced so far, me, and maybe one or two of my friends are in this random place together, and can do basically whatever we want. And this time, our mission is to… attack the new Fourth Wall. We just cannot have this foot-shooting whenever we want to break it. Breaking it is part of our AWESOMENESS!** **WE MUST BREAK IT! IT IS IN OUR BLOOD! Anyway, we try to break the unbreakable… and learn which characters are most vulnerable to sugar. Loonngg story… so read it! :D Ciao!**


	7. INTERLUDE: Never, EVER feed MeWDOS Sugar

**INTERLUDE: NEVER, EVER FEED CERTAIN CHARACTERS EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF SUGAR**

**A/N: Hey! Interlude time! *pulls out dictionary* And in my crazy, messed up head, 'interlude' means the same thing as 'randomness'. So enjoy! :3**

A young girl [probably around 13] was talking to someone on the phone. She had medium-length light brown hair that was falling into her face and blue eyes. She wore an orange t-shirt, and it had the Aperture logo, the words 'TEST SUBJECT', and a barcode written in white on it. She was also wearing jean shorts, and had a bandana tied around her head in the manner of a sweatband with the logo 'Portal 2' on it. She was yelling into the phone.

"NO! GO AWAY, I'M DEAD! Dang, TOG won't leave me alone…" She slammed the phone back on the hook and- "Oh, this is ridiculous. Why am I narrating myself? I'm FeeptheNinja! Hi!" *waves* "Well, I'm sure you all know what this is… so, let's take roll! Chell?"

Chell halfheartedly raised her hand in a sort-of wave, looking like she wondered why she should even be here.

"MeWDOS?"

Feep looked up from her clipboard and noticed She was nowhere to be seen. "Shoot. Rishi, could you go get Her?" And with that, a young boy emerged from a random portal. He had short black hair and was wearing a gray 'Washington' sweater and jeans. "And with this, let's give it up for… Rishi! Anyway, could you…?"

He rolled his eyes. "Sure. Though, I would think that you could keep better tabs on your own hosta- I mean, _guests_, Corah." At this, Feep- or, Corah- narrowed her eyes.

"Call me Feep, Rishi. FEEP!"

"Geez, touchy today, huh? Fine, _Feep_, I'll go get MeWDOS. In any case, you probably shouldn't have dragged Her off of Mythbusters…" He muttered as he walked off to find MeWDOS.

"I HEARD THAT! Anyway, now that he's here, let's introduce the rest of our NOT OC's, but my best friends! Heerrees William!" And with that, another young boy stepped out of the portal. He was wearing an orange rain jacket and jeans and had short blonde hair.

"Pika pika Chuu!" He yelled.

"Pika chu pika?" asked Feep.

"Pika pi! Pika chu pi!"

"Pika?"

"Pika!"

And Feep and William hugged. Hard. Smiling broadly, Feep declared: "And then there's… *dun dun dun dun da-dun dun da-dun* 'HEY! I HEARD THAT!' Heh, Here's Arya!" A short boy with a Kirby t-shirt on and jeans leapt through the portal. He also had short black hair.

"POYO!" He yelled, before adding "YES! Thanks Feep, I needed to do this!"

"Parents putting the smack down on video-gaming ** again?"

"Yep." He agreed sadly, then brightened up when he noticed Rishi walk into the room, half-carrying, half-dragging MeWDOS into the room.

"For the love of Arceus, you sure are obsessed with Mythbusters…" He laughed when he saw Arya. "Hey, Arya!"

Arya fairly launched himself at Rishi.

ARYA USED SLEEVE BITE! IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE ON THE ALLY RISHI!

Grabbing a huge mouthful of Rishi's sleeve, he latched on and didn't let go. The expressions of everyone in the room except for ours turned to comically disturbed.

"Don't worry. He does this all the time." Reassured Rishi.

"And with that, we have our last newcomer to introduce! Give it up for the infinitely random and part vampiric ninja panda of awesomeness A.J!" And with that, a girl with long blonde hair, a panda t-shirt on, and jeans ninja-flipped out of the portal.

"Hey guys!" she yelled, then proceeded to high-five me.

"Alright, if everyone's here, may we please proceed to the random giant couch and flat screen T.V. over there?" When everyone was seated, Feep proceeded to explain. "Okay, do we all know why we're here?" A few hands went up. "Brendan?"

Brendan confusedly looked around. "Everyone here is either your friends or Chell or Chell's Pokémon so far, i.e. MeWDOS, Wheatley, and Space. So why am I here?"

"Because I consider you to be an important part of this, even if your significance hasn't been shown yet. And you will appear in the next chapter, where your Treecko will get its ass kicked-" Rishi looked at me warningly.

"K+, Corah."

"FEEP!" Feep yelled. "Because it's such a fail Pokémon. Chell?"

'Why is 'Love Love Shine' playing on the speakers here?'

"Because this room is directly based off of what I imagine, and 'Love Love Shine' is playing on my computer right now. And when 'Killer Queen' comes on, expect me to stare pointedly at MeWDOS the whole time. And now it's 'On The Floor', so, yeah. Rishi? And please answer my original question…"

"To destroy the Titanium Fourth Wall?"

"EXACTLY! THANK YOU! Now, to do this we need a plan." Feep turned on the T.V., and it had a slide show on it. "First off, someone will need to distract it, so it will be too preoccupied with trying to shoot he/she/it/thing in the foot. Ooh, Moonlight Shadow's on! I LOVE that song! Anyway, for that, we need someone fast… Rishi, you do it!"

He snickered. "You said it, not me…" It took Feep a moment to register what he was saying.

"What do you mean… OH MY GOD! I DID NOT MEAN DO IT! RISHI THAT IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS! K+, K+!"

By now, Rishi was ROTFLMAOing. "I'll do it… but the expression on your face was priceless!"

After recovering from her panic attack at Rishi's… suggestion, Feep muttered something unintelligible under her breath about if he stayed here, she'd have to rate this T, and said "Alright, then we need three people to actually DISABLE the Fourth Wall-" All of a sudden, turrets singing 'Killer Queen' came on over the speakers, and she gave a pointed look to MeWDOS. And after that, the actual Queen came on singing it. Go figure. MeWDOS squirmed a little under the stare She was getting.

"Um, I'll do that…" She muttered, still quite a bit unnerved. Chell immediately spoke up.

'Me too.' And not to be outdone, Wheatley volunteered too.

"Huh. And then we'll need a couple more to bring it… HERE." Everyone in the room gasped, screamed, or attempted to climb inside their own intestinal tract, for on that T.V. was the ultimate horror… Barney. "What, did you think I'd do Justin Beiber? 'Cos then A.J. wouldn't mind a bit." Feep looked at A.J.

"WHAT? I LIKE HIM!"

"Sorry, we've been teasing A.J. about it for far too long. Now, who-" A.J. was the only one who volunteered. "Taking one for the team?" Feep asked. "Well then, I guess I'll have to go also. Shoot. Then… Space and Arya, I have a special job for you two…" All of a sudden Feep remembered something. "No, wait! Brendan, you go with A.J.! Sweet, then I'll go with Arya! Do we have a plan?" No one spoke up. "I SAID, DO WE HAVE A PLAN?" Feep said intimidatingly whilst firing up glitch fire on her hands. Suddenly there were a lot more people nodding. "Good. LETS GET THIS GOING!" When everyone else left, Feep spoke to Space and Arya. "I lied. There's no cake… or 'job', per say, for you two. But it'll be fun!" Space and Arya looked at each other, then at Feep. They listened eagerly to what she had to say…

Meanwhile, Rishi had approached the dreaded Titanium Fourth Wall. He cleared his throat and yelled…

"I'M REACHING THROUGH THE CHAPTERS! I'M MAKING REFERENCES! I'M-" He got no further before the wall attempted to shoot him… and missed. And missed again. Still missing.

"No.!"

No, not you, Miss. Le. Geez. Anyway, Chell, Wheatley, and MeWDOS snuck up on the TFW and…

CHELL USED DOUBLE KICK! WHEATLEY USED ICE BEAM! MeWDOS USED METRONOME! METRONOME TURNED INTO POISON POWDER! I'M ENDING ALL MY SENTENCES WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS! YAY ME!

"Grr! It still won't work right!" MeWDOS growled, referring to Metronome. Chell looked at Wheatley… then threw MeWDOS a packet of sugar. "?" MeWDOS opened it and ate the contents. "!"

In a galaxy far, far away, some guy whose name I cannot remember said, "I feel a disturbance in the Force… HOLY HECK THAT WAS A BIG EXPLOSION!"

For back on Earth, MeWDOS, in a sugar high, had blown the TFW out of existence. "Wow…" everyone stared at the remains of the wall.

"Oh, here's the problem. The instructions said that it isn't fit to withstand concentrated blasts of sugary energy from an epic AI and legendary Pokémon mixed into one. Hm." Rishi said as he looked over the tiny paper that was the remains of the instructions.

Everyone looked at each other. "Well… we'd better go tell A.J. and Brendan that they don't have to go into the bowels of Hell today… and what's Corah, Arya and Space doing?" From somewhere far away, they could barely make out a tiny yell: "FEEP!"

"Oh, hey, Matryoshka's on! I like that song too! Anyway…" Feep, Arya and Space looked at their handiwork. They had successfully kidnapped Jonathan Coulton and were now holding him captive in GLaDOS's chamber. "What the what?" Both were very confused.

"Alright, GLaDOS, he wrote both of the songs you sing at the end of both games. Therefore, he can sing them too… Do a duet."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me! Do a duet of 'Still Alive'!"

They looked at each other, then back at us.

"Fine." Said Jonathan.

"Just don't expect us to do it EVER AGAIN." Growled GLaDOS.

JC: This was a triumph

I'm making a note here, HUGE SUCCESS

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction

GLaDOS: Aperture Science

We do what we must because we can

JC: For the good of all of us

Except the ones who are dead

Both: But there's no sense crying over every mistake

You just keep on trying till' you run out of cake

And the science gets done

And you make a neat gun

For the people who are still alive

By now, quite a crowd had gathered outside the chamber, listening intently.

JC: I'm not even angry

GLaDOS: I'm being so sincere right now

JC: Even though you broke my heart and killed me

GLaDOS: And tore me to pieces

JC: And threw every piece into a fire

GLaDOS: As they burned it hurt because

I was so happy for you

Both: Now these points of data make a beautiful line

And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time

So I'm GLaD I got burned

Think of all the things we learned

For the people who are still alive

GLaDOS: Go ahead and leave me

I think I'd prefer to stay inside

JC: Maybe you'll find someone else to help you

GLaDOS: Maybe Black Mesa

That was a joke

JC: Ha ha

GLaDOS: Fat chance

JC: Anyway, this cake is great

It's so delicious and moist

Both: Look at me still talking when there's science to do

When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you

I've experiments to run

There is research to be done

On the people who are still alive

GLaDOS: And believe me I am still alive

JC: I'm doing science and I'm still alive

GLaDOS: I feel fantastic and I'm still alive

JC: And while you're dying I'll be still alive

GLaDOS: And when you're dead I will be still alive

JC: Still alive

Both: Still alive

There was silence in the chamber for a moment. Then, everyone broke into applause. There were standing ovations. Everyone loved it.

"Thank you, thank you. Now-" Before he could finish his sentence, Feep zapped him back to where he was before.

GLaDOS looked at Feep. "Well? You said you'd leave." Feep held up something.

"I recorded it." She grinned. "Bye!" And ran out as fast as she could to avoid the fire and death now coming her way, courtesy of a very irate GLaDOS.

TIME PASSES

"Wow." William said. And everyone agreed.

"Well, that was an EPIC day. And- dare I say it?- everyone had fun." Feep nodded. "Yep, HUGE SUCCESS here."

Arya groaned. "Aww, do we have to go home now?" Everyone else seemed to be equally disappointed.

"Well, you MIGHT not have to. Depending on the reviews-" at this, Feep looked pointedly at all of the reviewers-"we might- just might- have the FIRST TRUTH OR DARE FIC IN PORTAL!" A.J. cheered.

"I love Truth or Dare!" Feep grinned.

"Yeah, I know. So that's why I'm asking! With Return to Aperture wrapped up, and virtually no one reading my other two fics- EXCEPT YOU, AnimeGirl, Thanks! You deserve cake!-, I have one spot open n things I'm focusing on. The rules would be- Reviewers can review or PM me their dares or truths! And I will accept up to… let's say 3 OC's at first. EVERYONE will be here, from my friends to Caroline and Cave. Yes, I know they're technically dead. No, I don't care. So send in your reviews, and tell me if this is a good idea!"

"And Negative Reviews? Don't show up. At all. Or you have some deadly neurotoxin coming your way pretty darn soon. And fire. And acid water."

OC APPLICATION

Name:

Gender:

Species:

Appearance:

Personality:

Other Things I Should Probably Know:

"Thanks! And if this does work out, It'll be in the crossover section, Pokémon and Portal. Don't ask, PLEASE!" Feep waved. "See ya soon!"


	8. Breakin' The Law With An Author Note Ch

**No, this is not a new chapter, persay- It's something I found on my computer that has a better OC submission form than I usually used. Enjoy. And for feep's sake USE IT! DX I ONLY HAVE LIKE THREE SO FAR!**

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Species:

Name:

Any tie-in to Aperture?:

Moves:

Appearance (any special coloring, whatnot):

Backstory?:

Crushes? (She'll kill me but GLaDOS is free! XD Not that she'll necessarily accept you...):

Anything else I need to know?:

Soo... Yeah. Please submit at least one or two to me, I need more characters!

GLaDOS: Do **_not_** make jokes about my crap luck with Metronome unless you feel like becoming the past president of the Being Alive club.

Me: Aw, lighten up. You eventually learn to control it somewhat... WITH SCIENCE! :D

GLaDOS: ... Why did I feel joy at that statement?

Me: Because it had to do with science. Wanna watch Mythbusters with me?

GLaDOS: Shouldn't you be asleep?

Me: Does it look like I care?

GLaDOS: ... Fine. Only because you asked so nicely.

Me: Yeah, right. See ya later guys! Don't forget to submit your characters!

GLaDOS: And there is no guarantee I won't torture them.

Me: I swear, if you had a mouth you would have a grin on your face classified as "Evilly Insane".

GLaDOS: Aren't I already?

Me: It's still there... DX


End file.
